Mom came home for hospice. She didn’t want to leave this world in a cold hospital setting with people she didn’t know. Her own bed with her fur babies was her choice and we did that. I paid hell but it was worth it.
My older sister fought desperately for Mom to be put into a care home. Mom fought back. I was her mercenary and it was exhausting. We made it home and Mom stayed for 3 days to say her goodbyes and then she passed.
What transpired in those 72 hours was nothing short of amazing. She became spiritual and I drank it in like fresh water after a long trek through the desert. It changed me in the best way possible. It rinsed me in faith. I woke up after a long, tiring sleep.
Faith ebbs. It waxes and wanes like the moon phases. When it’s strong, I feel invincible. When I get weak and doubt, unhealthy people enter my world and cause great distress. I’m not sure I can tolerate ‘false Christians’ any more.
Cross necklaces and attending church sporadically don’t make one a person of faith. Following the example of unconditional love and acceptance of Jesus of Nazareth is the goal. Some of my own people will never get this.
I took Mom to the hospital with breathing issues. One morning I walked in and her lips were blue. The drive to the hospital was daunting. I almost wrecked trying to keep the oxygen tube in her nose and steer the car.
I veered into Terry Ady’s Auto Repair and ran into the shop screaming. A young man ran out and jumped into the driver’s seat. I later learned that he is a preacher’s son. I intend to visit that church and testify.
Mom woke up and looked up at him and said, ‘Who are you?’ before she passed out. He and I said the Lord’s Prayer together as he rushed us to the ER. I will never forget that young man’s strength and compassion.
Doctors stabilized Mom and said it was time for hospice. My older sister showed up after years of absence and tried to take control. Mom was so weak but said, “Please take me home.” We almost checked her out AMA but she signed release papers in the elevator as I wheeled her out.
As soon as she got to her own bed, she slept for 12 hours. I thought she would pass in her sleep and made the necessary phone calls to family that cared. When she woke up, she was in a completely different state of mind. She was filled with faith. It was amazing to see her so peaceful and ready to leave this world
She shared that her uncle Gary would be coming for her. She also said there was nothing to fear and everything we believe is real. She had been to the other side and was excited to return.
A few sips of freshly brewed coffee, a strawful of beer and some fruit sorbet were her last requests. Smoking shaved years off her life but she wanted to have a cigarette but couldn’t breathe in strong enough to inhale.
For the first time in my life, I lit up and drew a big breath of smoke to blow into her mouth. She loved it. We finished the cigarette as I began to really taste the tobacco. She jokingly told me not to smoke because it was bad for my health. We shared a much-needed laugh.